It’s been a long time since I’ve written. I’d like to blame it on the busyness of life. I’d like to blame it on not having anything to write about.
But if I were honest…
I’d say I’ve been scared to write.
You see, writing makes me vulnerable. It exposes a side of me and my heart that most people wouldn’t normally see. For the last two years of blogging, I haven’t minded the vulnerability. I haven’t minded allowing you to be up close and personal with this journey through my 20-something years.
But when someone hurts you because you’ve allowed yourself to be vulnerable, it makes it easy to run and hide. Or at least, it makes running and hiding seem very appealing.
This last month, that’s what I’ve done. I ran and hid and decided to not show my heart, to nearly anyone. I stopped blogging, I stopped sharing my life with you, and I stopped allowing my heart to be open.
A part of me was scared to be vulnerable, for fear of being hurt again. But tonight I realized something.
Remaining safely tucked away, with all vulnerability hidden, does the world no good.
You won’t benefit from me staying within my safety net. You won’t grow from me posting about the “must have” product or current fashion trends. That’s not who I am, nor what I’m meant to share about.
I’m real. I’m me. I’m honest.
Vulnerability is beautiful. Trust is beautiful. And I can’t live a healthy life while running from both. My heart will heal and I’ll grow in wisdom, but I refuse to stop opening my heart to new people, new friends, and new experiences for fear of being hurt.
You, dear readers, have been with me through the ups and downs of these last few years. You’ve encouraged me, cried with me, laughed with me, and have been there for me in so many ways.
Tonight, I’m being vulnerable with you. I’m deciding to be braver than I want to be and I’m deciding to stop letting fear dictate my actions.
This big heart of mine has a lot to share and a lot to give this world. And you do too! Who lights a candle and puts it under a basket so the light is hidden? No one. We’re meant to shine as an example for the world to see.
Tonight, I’m dusting off my pants and I’m getting back up. Shutting up isn’t an option. Running away is not an option.
I’m here to stay and I hope you are too.
So here’s to being vulnerable, being wise, and changing the world.
Thanks for being you reader.
In this together,