She ran fast. She ran hard. Her lungs began to feel the fiery sting of a body pleading with her mind to stop.
She ran harder.
Her thoughts screamed, her body ached, her heart pounded – one thing she knew. She wouldn’t look back. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.
With every step forward, she was mentally kicking down the walls that held her in their grip.
The hurts, the pain, the anger, the disappointment – all of it was being slowly forgotten with each passing second. She turned the music up louder and drowned herself in the noise. Before she knew it, she had forgotten. The pain didn’t hurt so badly, the memories weren’t so vivid. The more she ran, the more her mind told her it was all a dream. She could cope, if that’s all it was.
Her feet hit the pavement harder. She ran as though she were running for her life. In all truth, she was. She allowed herself to feel. She felt the pavement with each step, felt the pain, and relived the loss. So much of it felt unreal.
She ran until her body could no longer run. Stopping, she gasped for air. The world around her stood still for a moment. She heard herself laughing with people she loved, she imagined little hands clinging to hers, she heard the songs they used to sing, and then she felt the tug at her heart.
She blinked and it was all gone.
She breathed in deeply and began to run. Tears threatened to stream down her cheeks, but the wind in her face quickly removed that fear. It was then she knew she could run forever and never erase the memories. They’d always be there. As much as there were days she wanted to forget the pain hidden deep within, she realized a much deeper fact. Within all of the pain, there was still happiness to be found.
Would she dig deeper than the pain to relive the good moments? Would she fight to remember only the good and do her best to forget the pain?
Only time would tell. And until she had that answer…