Recently, I had someone reach out to me because they needed something. When it comes to my friends, I am more than happy to help someone in need. You could call me at 2am asking for me to come pick you up because you’re stranded, and I’d ask for 5 minutes to put warm clothes on so I could be on my way to you.
I value my friendships and thus, I put effort into maintaining them, staying in touch, and being there for others. While yes, I do believe friendship should be a two-way street of give and take, I will counter that statement by saying that I have decided to walk away from so-called friendships where all that’s happening is the other individual taking.
The aforementioned individual who reached out to me, is someone I haven’t spoken to in at least a year or more. This past year, my life was turned upside in so many ways. Some good and some, well, not so good. Did this person ask anything about the last year? No. Did they ask “How are you?” and genuinely want to hear a detailed response back? I doubt it. Did they call me a friend before they asked for their favor? Yep.
I can’t even begin to express how much that bothers me. Am I only a “friend” when you need something? Am I only worth reaching out to because you think I can fulfill your need?
I’m honestly not sure if people see it this way. Part of me believes they do, but they choose to ignore how tacky they’re being, because their need is greater than their need to be relational. The other part of me really thinks some people are oblivious to how rude it is. We’ve become a generation and society that values material items over relationships. We’ve become a society that says, “Save the dolphins, but abort the babies.” Really?? It’s no wonder more and more people don’t value their fellow man (and woman).
Forgive me if I’m killing some sacred cows, but truth be told, it’s about time somebody said this. I don’t throw the term “friend” around loosely. If I call you a friend, it’s because I believe you are worth investing the time and emotions into. I won’t call just anyone a friend, because that title should hold value.
If nothing else, reader, I hope the next time you think you’re in need, that you’ll stop and think about who you last helped or who you last held while they cried. If that memory seems distant, maybe you should try being a friend before expecting someone else to be. Everyone is in need, some just don’t vocalize it because they’re so busy trying to be a friend to everyone else.
It’s time we looked around and reached out, instead of thinking we’re the only one in need. You might be surprised at what you find.