Truth hurts. Apologies in advance.

It always amazes me how quick people can be to tear down your dream. If they feel threatened by it, they’ll tell you it’s not going to happen and that you should do something else. If they feel jealous of it, they’ll try to make you feel bad for wanting to chase something so grand.

And if you’ve already stepping into your dream, people will often point the finger and blame others for why they can’t have the same. They’ll say “You’re just lucky. I’m not.” or “Life just works out for you, not me.” and other contrite things that totally remove the personal responsibility from their own life.

If you’ve ever thought that or said that to me, I’d like to politely clear some things up.

Before you blame me (or God) for why I’m blessed, let’s take a look at what I’ve done to get there. Before you go feeling jealous, envious, or threatened, let’s first recognize we’re not in competition with each other. I’ve made decisions that have led me to this path, as have you. While I don’t know your life or your sacrifices, I know mine. I know the hours I’ve spent reading articles, books, and magazines on wealth and how to get it. I know the sacrifices I’ve made when I was saving money religiously, instead of going out every night like some of my friends. I know the countless prayers I’ve prayed, asking God for wisdom and seeking Godly advice. I know what I’ve done and I know the results it’s given me.

I know that I’ve followed God’s word and held Him to it. I know that I’ve faithfully tithed 10% of every single dollar that comes into my hands. God promises that when we give him 10% of the income/increase we receive, He is faithful to meet our needs. I’ve obeyed His word and I’ve been blessed for it.

If you want those same results, are you willing to do what I did to get them?

What many Christians fail to realize is that while God wants to bless us, we also need to do our part. We live in a world where there are earthly rules and there are consequences to breaking them. If I eat every high calorie food there is and gain a ton of weight which produces health problems, I can’t blame God for not healing me. We have a personal responsibility to care for our body and our financial, emotional, spiritual, and mental states of being. God is not a genie who magically appears to get us out of a difficult situation. He is a very present help in time of need, yes, BUT we must also do our part.

As a young child, my parents made sure I understood personal responsibility. We weren’t allowed to blame somebody else for our actions or try to shift blame. Oh how I wish as adults we remembered these lessons.

I look at my generation – millennials as we’re called – and I cringe. So many 20-somethings wasting their life drinking, partying, throwing money down the drain by wasting it on frivolous things they can’t afford – yet, those same people will be the ones who are jealous when they see someone prospering and doing well financially.

Hate to break it to you, but you can’t have your cake and eat it too. You either play now and pay later or you make the sacrifices, work hard, finish school, save, etc. to make your dreams a reality.

But you cannot “live it up” and then wake up at 30 years old and be jealous of the people around you who made wise choices and have all the things you do not. You cannot waste your time staying up until 4am, drinking until your drunk, and sleeping the day away and then be upset when someone the same age as you buys a house or nice car. You cannot blame God for blessing others more than you, when you haven’t held up your side of this equation. God wants to bless you, He wants to pour down blessings you can’t contain, but He is like any good parent. He wants relationship with us and He will only bless us with what we can handle.

I’ve heard people say “If only I had a million dollars…”. Really? You poorly manage the $10 you have. You think it’d magically be better if you were handed a million dollars? I promise you sweetheart, give it 3 months and you’ll be in more debt than you know what to do with and will have lost that million because you didn’t know how to handle it.

People love the saying, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” They typically use this phrase when going through a tough time, as a way to try to encourage people. While I typically disagree with this statement, in the context of this blog post, I agree. He won’t give you more than you can handle, inclusive of wealth, if you haven’t proven yourself trustworthy with what you already have.

So, if you want more and aren’t getting more, stop blaming those around you for doing better or for being so “lucky” or blessed. If you want more, do your part. And if you aren’t doing your part, stop complaining.

It’s time that adults grew up and changed the world. I’m doing my part.

Are you?

8 Responses
  • Megan
    August 27, 2017

    I agree young people don’t know how to spend their money most of the time. However this is always been a problem I think. I don’t understand the millennial’s at all. My son is one and a lot of them are really cheap and won’t spend any money too. It just feels like the younger generation is so divided some of you are frugal. Some of you live lavishly. It’s confusing.

    • Manda Joy
      August 28, 2017

      There is definitely a big divide. It seems there’s very little balance or middle ground. Personally, I’ve been striving to find the balance between saving, investing, and enjoying in every area of my life.

  • Joy
    August 27, 2017

    All you wrote is truth. Yet, just because we follow God as closely as we can, it does not mean life will always turn out ‘easy’. Things happen that we simply have no control over. Illnesses; destroyed relationships that we had no control over; the death of loved ones; total loss over and over again. It does not mean one is not doing the work or following closely after Him. It just means our walks will have very different outcomes in this life. Just today I was sharing your blog with a close friend and telling her how beautiful you are, both inside and out. I am happy for your successes in life. It’s beautiful to see how you have grown and continue to grow in God. All the best to you!

    • Manda Joy
      August 28, 2017

      Thanks for commenting Joy! There are absolutely things that happen outside of our control, but that’s not what I’m referring to here. I’m referring to the things we do have control over, that people choose to blame others for. We live in an imperfect world where bad things happen to good people, yes. That’s also why it’s incredibly important for us to know the Word and apply it – for protection, for provision, for health, for prosperity, for wisdom, etc. That’s how I was raised and how I’ve lived my life. The unfortunate thing is that some people do assume things have come “easily”, but that’s because they don’t know all the behind the scenes work, they just see the highlight reel. You’re so incredibly sweet to be sharing my blog with others – that means the world!! Best to you always too. xoxo

  • Kyla Matton Osborne
    August 27, 2017

    They say God helps those who help themselves. In my experience, those who put the work into right living do tend to see the rewards.

  • Dia All The Things I Do
    August 27, 2017

    Yep! I think people are too quick to worry about other people’s business. You may not understand their dreams and ambitioned but why do you feel the need to try to tear them down. It’s like if I succeed it probably won’t change your life. If I fail it won’t change your life, so let me live mine. Or you don’t know all the work I’ve put in behind closed doors to make this happen. No luck. I’m just at a place where I do what I believe and work towards my goals and turn a deaf ear to anyone trying to hinder me with unsolicited negative criticism.

    Also want to clarify I mean “you” as a general term not you Manda. lol

    • Manda Joy
      August 28, 2017

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. 🙂 I completely agree with you! Love that phrase you used, “unsolicited negative criticism.” There’s enough of that in the world to last us for decades! lol

  • Linda
    August 27, 2017

    A round of applause for this blog post. So tired of the complaining and blaming. I love the honesty and straightforward candor of this post.

What do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *