When Love Says Goodbye

A week ago, we received a call from the state that they had a newborn who needed a foster family. We were nervous about taking in a baby we didn’t know, but then again, how could we say no?

We said “Yes!” and Tuesday evening, the little one arrived. To say we were overwhelmed by how good of a baby they were, is an understatement. I don’t think I’ve ever come across a child as peaceful as this one.

I tried to keep my heart hidden, and not on my sleeve, as we’re all still healing from our last fostering situation. However, I found myself in amazement of God’s creation in this little one. The week continued to move and before I knew it, the week was almost over. I was looking forward to coming home Friday and spending time with this precious infant.

Then, it happened all over again.

The call came, less than 48 hours from the little one’s arrival. The judge decided to place the infant back with the biological mother. I didn’t realize how much I had fallen in love with this little human, until the call came. The emotions, tears, and heartbreak happened all over again.

What is it about these kinds of situations? I knew going into it, I was opening myself up to these feelings and emotions all over again, but I didn’t expect it to come so soon.

I rushed home from work and prayed to God that He would allow me to have just 10 minutes with the baby so I could give a proper goodbye. I’m so grateful to say, I was blessed with those 10 minutes. I ran into the house, dropped my bags, and picked up the little one I was preparing to say goodbye to.

Before we knew it, they arrived to pick up the baby and within moments, it was as though the last 2 days were just a dream.

I couldn’t help but ask God why. Why did I need to go through this pain all over again? Why did we say yes, only to have it be two days? And then, I’m reminded.

It’s not about me.

I could be selfish and say that I won’t help the children out there in need of a loving home. I could protect myself from the pain and heartbreak. I could stay in my corner of the world and pretend I’m content serving only myself. But that’d be a lie.

We are made for so much more than to just live for self. We are made with a purpose, a plan, and a destiny. The world is changed by you and me. We are responsible for what is in front of us.

A little one was placed in front of us on Tuesday and it was a joy to once again, remember what it is like to celebrate the beauty of newborn life.

I fell in love with “little one” in only two days. I can only imagine the joy my own children will bring someday. But until then, and even after then, I have the responsibility to do my best with what is placed in front of me.

The pain and heartbreak is not something anyone wishes to go through, but to know you made a difference and protected innocent life…

It’s so worth it.

3 Responses
  • Hans
    June 2, 2015

    God has given you such a beautiful heart Amanda/HappilyMe23 🙂 You are a diamond in the rough, I pray that God gives you children and I know those children will have a blessed life with a Proverbs 31 kind of mother .

    • Hans
      June 2, 2015

      *a diamond in the rough world

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